"All men can see these tactics whereby I conquer, but what none
can see is the strategy out of which victory is evolved"
- Sun-tzu
"The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world"
- The Brain
can see is the strategy out of which victory is evolved"
- Sun-tzu
"The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world"
- The Brain
A relatively new development has occurred within the last year or so of my time on this planet. I have become increasingly interested in complete control and domination of the entire earth, except for Antarctica, and only because it cannot be found on the board. Far too many years have passed where the phenomena known as Risk was absent from my consciousness. Luckily, I have some vigilant comrades who noticed something was lacking in my life. They introduced me to the game of global domination, Risk.
Indeed, I may have had a deprived childhood. My salad days were filled with baseball, among other sandlot sports. When I wasn't outside running out my hyperactivity, I would occasionally pull out a board game. Typically the game of choice would be Clue, Pictionary, Life, Trivial Pursuit (once I was a teenager) or a three letter card based game like War or Uno. Unfortunately, Risk is not found on this list. Now I'm sure that the aforementioned games do have some educational benefits, but they pale in comparison to the cultivation and enlightenment Risk entails. I spent my formative years completely oblivious to the game in what's known as a deprived childhood. Fortuitously, I was given the gift of Risk with plenty of time to spare.
When your young lad or lass starts asking questions like, "Why is our president heading into Iraq?" any good parent should head to the closet and dust off that 0ld Risk box that has been moldering on the top shelf for years. Any socio-political questions can usually be explained and solved by a couple of hours of dice rolls. A vigilant parent can easily elucidate and illuminate what exactly our fine President was feeling when he decided to send Americans after the dastardly Saddam Hussein. This theory finds practice across the board, consider using Risk when your rug rat starts studying Napoleon, Alexander the Great, or the Roman Empire. A couple of hours of trying to claim Kamchatka for the red army, and mankind's natural tendency for imperialistic blood lust is undeniable.
Another benefit of introducing Risk to your offspring is to illustrate the human code of honor (or lack thereof). One has the option to double-cross anyone seated at the table with little recompense other than inevitable removing all of one's plastic representation of humanity from a map of the world. Risk speaks volumes as to a player's character. Does one hold up the treaties that are struck during game play? Does one prey on the weak? Is one player constantly serving the needs of another by refusing to ever attack one other specific player? Perhaps one player angers you enough to create a strategy claiming your territories adjacent to the antagonizer in order to eliminate that player first. Also, what better way to introduce your kids to harsh reality than to wipe the floor with them in a game of global domination? Just watch out when they wind up teaching you a few lessons.
Indeed, I may have had a deprived childhood. My salad days were filled with baseball, among other sandlot sports. When I wasn't outside running out my hyperactivity, I would occasionally pull out a board game. Typically the game of choice would be Clue, Pictionary, Life, Trivial Pursuit (once I was a teenager) or a three letter card based game like War or Uno. Unfortunately, Risk is not found on this list. Now I'm sure that the aforementioned games do have some educational benefits, but they pale in comparison to the cultivation and enlightenment Risk entails. I spent my formative years completely oblivious to the game in what's known as a deprived childhood. Fortuitously, I was given the gift of Risk with plenty of time to spare.
When your young lad or lass starts asking questions like, "Why is our president heading into Iraq?" any good parent should head to the closet and dust off that 0ld Risk box that has been moldering on the top shelf for years. Any socio-political questions can usually be explained and solved by a couple of hours of dice rolls. A vigilant parent can easily elucidate and illuminate what exactly our fine President was feeling when he decided to send Americans after the dastardly Saddam Hussein. This theory finds practice across the board, consider using Risk when your rug rat starts studying Napoleon, Alexander the Great, or the Roman Empire. A couple of hours of trying to claim Kamchatka for the red army, and mankind's natural tendency for imperialistic blood lust is undeniable.
Another benefit of introducing Risk to your offspring is to illustrate the human code of honor (or lack thereof). One has the option to double-cross anyone seated at the table with little recompense other than inevitable removing all of one's plastic representation of humanity from a map of the world. Risk speaks volumes as to a player's character. Does one hold up the treaties that are struck during game play? Does one prey on the weak? Is one player constantly serving the needs of another by refusing to ever attack one other specific player? Perhaps one player angers you enough to create a strategy claiming your territories adjacent to the antagonizer in order to eliminate that player first. Also, what better way to introduce your kids to harsh reality than to wipe the floor with them in a game of global domination? Just watch out when they wind up teaching you a few lessons.
The social advantages of Risk should also be considered. First, you have to play amidst other human beings, thus guaranteeing personal contact (unless you play online, you mountebank). Also, if one so chooses, beer can be introduced into the equation allowing for further relaxation. So there you have it, harmless fun. You and your comrades spending an evening or ten together blowing off steam. Speaking of relaxation, Risk is a good way to diffuse after dealing with reality. One is usually not permitted to rail at the jerks encountered on a day to day basis, so bottle it up and scream and shout at your friends and inanimate pieces of plastic. This is what is known as "Risk Tilt" and is more therapeutic than an army of psychiatrists and their frighteningly mind altering pills. (Editor's note: The author leads the league in total time on Risk tilt.) It is crucial to always remember the separation of Risk and real life, or you will end up with some angry chums. Otherwise, Risk is simply the game that keeps on giving.
I, with some friends, have had a recurring Risk game Thursday nights. Often times, upon learning that my evening plans consisted of a game of Risk, people will be astonished. Risk is the international language, I know you're out there closeted Risk fans. I am here to tell you that it is perfectly acceptable to take over Australia, yell "devil cock" when you roll three sixes (of course that's a nod to The Frogs), or shout about how Ukraine is weak. Grab a six pack and come over, let's play some Risk.
